A secure man is IMPERTURBABLE
What does the word imperturbable mean? The word is fairly uncommon, and in the field of Masculine and Feminine understanding, it means something even more specific.
Becoming imperturbable basically means “to not be bothered by anything”. Why is this important to the masculine? Too often, what is perceived as a “weak man” is the inability to remain calm in any situation. Ryan Holiday, author of the famous book The Daily Stoic Journal, and countless other writings from Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, Seneca, and others, have become increasingly popular in recent years sharing the benefits of stoicism. To be stoic is to be stable, assured in yourself and who you are.
Being stoic in any situation is essentially training your nervous system to be able to RESPOND rather than REACT. When the situation gets a reaction out of you, you are not imperturbable. This doesn’t mean that you can’t be excited about a situation or that you can’t be upset about a situation. Obviously things can happen in life; a birth of a child or the death of a family member.
It’s necessary and normal to have extreme emotions with such situations. When we talk about training a nervous system, it means to remain unfazed in the face of criticism. To see a dangerous situation or unfavorable situation, and remain calm throughout its entire process is to be imperturbable. For instance, if you get news that you are not excited about and your reaction is to put a hole through a wall, you don’t have control of your nervous system.
Several things can happen in this reaction. First, as you might guess, you could hurt yourself and the property around you. Second, it makes your chosen partner, or those around you, feel like they are not in a safe environment; they are not safe around YOU. To react to a situation with explosive anger and “fly off the handle” is often thought of as a very masculine act. Many people think that “real men show anger” and even try to make sure everyone knows it.
In reality, it’s the opposite. Reacting with such anger is to go deep into feeling, becoming ungrounded. Feeling is still part of every man but it’s where the Feminine thrives. The Feminine is free-flowing, honors her emotions, and experiences them deeply. She needs a safe place to express that emotion, where she feels contained and enveloped by a strong Masculine-container.
To be able to remain IMPERTURBABLE in any situation and completely in control of your emotions in the face of adversity is not only one of the core tenants of deep Masculinity; it is one of the requirements.
If you respond to adversity, stepping back to observe all angles of it, discern your next actions, and calmly make decisions — you are an imperturbable man. A grounded Masculine creates safety for all those in his perimeter, allowing his beloved Feminine to relax, expand, and revel in pure experience. The feminine will subtly and constantly test the boundaries of his imperturbability — take that as an honor. She is testing to see if he’s really unbreakable, if she is safe to expand into the full expression of her wild Feminine self, if she can trust him with not only his own emotions, but hers too.
A man who cannot control his emotions and take action for himself, his team, his children, and his chosen partner, is a man that still has much work to do. In being an imperturbable man, you are inviting people to feel safe around you and to trust you.
